Psychological research over the past three decades of military personnel, company employees and people overcoming trauma have demonstrated that about 1 in 3 people get inspired during crisis and thrive, instead of getting imprisoned by the trauma or crisis merely surviving it. What distinguishes this one third of the population from the rest of us?
Well while most of us focus on what went wrong, what we did to deserve this trauma and crisis or how to get back to the good old days, thus staying imprisoned by the trauma – THEY focus on what they can take responsibility for during the time of crisis helping them adjust much more quickly and step forward!
So how can we help ourselves to become more adaptable?
Taking care of ourselves and our well being is key. Eating healthily, managing our physical activities and managing our physical, emotional and spiritual well-being will help maintain a positive outlook.
Checking and managing our thought patterns so we let go of regrets and thoughts of the good old days, then start looking at meaning in our current life and situation
Practicing mindfulness and enjoying the moment we are in right now also helps us move forward
Finding and living our priorities by answering the simple question – What can I do to make this situation better?
The ability to thrive is deeply connected to the actions you take on a daily basis and the structure you embrace!
So what are the actions to be taken?
Revisit your goals – set your targets even higher – No athlete or dancer decides , I just want to be average! They aim for number 1 then at least they are at the top!
Revisit the effort required – did you know that Olympic gymnasts practice 1 jump for 7 hours a day! It is going to take a lot more effort than you think to get there. Focus on improving a little bit every day.
Focus on the journey and the process, let go of the expectations. The ballerinas in the picture just focused on the move – not focusing on what the picture will look like.
Enjoy the moment – practice mindful eating, walking and general moments to unplug and enjoy the stillness
Practice gratitude – good things come to those who are grateful
Dump the “To-Do” List and embrace the “Accomplishments” List – this has a maximum of 3 things that you include in your day that will help you feel the sense of accomplishment
I am a Credentialed Coach and Mentor Coach by the International Coach Federation and a ThetaHealing Master – I specialize in helping people find their harmony so that they can make a positive impact on their business, organization, family, teams and community. Please contact me if you want my support on your journey.
Managing your mindset it the key to achieving your vision, your ambitions and your goals with authentic balance – Here are 5 Steps to help you manage your mindset
Mindsets shift and change all the time – It is easy to manage our mindsets when things are going well and according to plan. How can you manage them when things are not? How do you manage them when the “but….” thoughts start coming into the forefront? You know what I mean… “…but it’s too hard”, “…but there is so much suffering in the world right now”, “….but I can’t control anything”
Follow these 5 key steps to help you manage your mindset:
Accept your mindset and thoughts for what they are. Note them down on a piece of paper or in a voice note. Thoughts and mindsets were formed in our minds to help protect us and to solve problems. Think about it, the mindset of “I can only earn the things I love by doing things I hate.” Keeps us safe and secure in well-paying jobs. “It’s too hard…” protects us from over exertion and keeps us in our comfort zone. They have served their purpose, once we accept them we can move to the next step.
Identifying counter mindsets to help shift these thoughts that no longer serve us. So for the examples I gave in the first step… Look at how many people have earned the things they love by doing what they love. How have they made it happen? Whether you are talking about celebrities or people you know. What mind-shift did they make to help them through? Then replace that with “I can have freedom, money and do what I love.” When it comes to “it’s too hard” think of the outcome, isn’t it worth it, look at the progress you have made so far… Isn’t that worth it?
Understand what motivated you to take on the goal you have. What made you decide you want to re-balance your life and live your authentic life? What made it important for you to do this now? Keep a note of your big “whys” so that you can review them when the mindset shifts again.
Realize that motivation and willpower are not enough, the ebb and flow based on how you are feeling and the circumstances around you. They fall by the wayside when you are tired and come out in full-force when you are well-rested and energized. So what does help? Building your self-efficacy (trusting yourself) through building small habits and wins that support your motivation when it wanes. Keep it simple, absolutely tiny and consistent. Celebrate the wins however small when they happen so that you can grow your motivation and willpower muscles and ride the tide.
Get comfortable with setbacks, failures, stumbling blocks and mistakes. As my mom enjoys repeating over and over again… “Rome was not built in a day” There are ups and downs, just learn to roll with the punches. Personally, I keep a little happy jar on my desk that I use to boost my morale when I am down; it has all the little wins I’ve had in it and I take out as many as I want to help me get motivated. Once that is done, I look at the set back and look at what went right, what could have been better and get back to the drawing board and plan my next step.
I am a Corporate and Business Leadership Coach – whose passion is to help change agents like you achieve the authentic balance in their lives in order to make a positive impact in their organizations, families and communities.
A clear vision for yourself is a realistic road map for success. This post will provide you with the basic guideline to help you create a clear vision to help you balance your work and family life in times of crisis and beyond.
Linden Tibbets, co-founder and ex-CEO of Automation Services IFTTT stated :”You can’t inspire someone if you can’t articulate your vision.”
This includes inspiring yourself.
So what do you do? Set yourself a vision that is simple and easy to put into action.
How? Follow these 6 simple steps:
Be honest and acknowledge what you are going through and where you are right now with yourself, your organization and your family.
What do you want for yourself right now and beyond? Work-life balance? Psychic and physical balance? A balance for the internal and external forces on your time and energy? Make sense of what you want to help you focus on the next step…
The brainstorming and dream process. There is a gap between what you want and where you are right now and the brainstorming process helps trigger the change path within you. Remember there are no limits and judgement in brainstorming and dreams!
Accept yourself and deepen yourself knowledge; what are your skills, your capabilities, your strengths and amazing quirks that make you! Now review your brainstorm ideas and dreams with a new eye and set your realistic ambitions – not too high and not too low!
Work on your implementation – set Simple, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time-bound steps to achieve your ambitions
Walk the talk with integrity!
So there you have it the 6 tips to help you create and implement a clear vision for your goals to achieve work and family balance and become the amazing change agent you are.
Please contact me if you want any help on your journey to clarifying your vision or to update me on your progress. For updates when these blogs are posted just contact us and we will be happy to update you on the same!
We are living in unique times that most of us have not seen before, people are being asked to work from home and caregivers are being asked to home-school their children. Not that easy when people are not ready for these initiatives.
Here are 6 steps to help you navigate the world of working from home, parenting and teaching.
Acknowledge how you feel, acknowledge the confusion you are in and acknowledge that you are ill-equipped for this new venture. You feel confused, upset, fearful, unsure and unable to focus… It’s OK… Schools and workplaces are designed to help us focus and get things done. Sure you may have thought of the convenience of working from home or the benefits of home-schooling your kids; you’re just not ready for it or for the real distractions of being at home. The internet is flooded with posts of make shift offices made of toilet paper and so many other strange materials right now… Part of me believes that I will die from laughter before COVID-19 gets a hold of me. My biggest pet peeve was not having a printer and the unfamiliar sounds of the house while I worked (I know right)
Set a schedule, yup, include your work and study goals and objectives in your schedule. Look, we have designed our homes for relaxation and play, we have not designed them to get work and studying done (no the additional work you take home and time you help the kids with homework does not really count – here you are getting a full day’s work and curriculum sorted). Get the kids involved in setting the schedule, hey you want their buy-in from the beginning, the added stress of cajoling, bribing and threatening them into motion is not fun! Include chores, meals, family projects and crafty initiatives (it will keep them entertained and curb some of their screen time – hopefully). Use the kids down time (for toddlers its their alone time and nap times and school goers it’s the time they are working on assignments) in your schedule to get things done.
Get dressed for work and school, I spent the first 2 days working from home in my home clothes and I got nothing useful done. Once I decided to get dressed, my mind got into gear, I also got my daughter to get ready and start her lessons at the same time as she does for school and the results were amazing! This tip also includes switching off those screens and social media distractions. I get my news twice a day from valid sources and leave the social media rumor mill to its on devices.
Set boundaries, with the kids and for yourself. Let the kids know when they can come to you for help and support and when they cannot. Keep a sign for when you are working on a time consuming project that needs your concentration so they know to keep away at that time. For babies and toddlers it’s not that easy, it’s best to use their natural down times to get things done. Set boundaries for yourself as well so that you don’t suddenly get distracted to get some housework done and vise versa. Remember the routine of going to and coming back from work also helps us maintain boundaries between work and home life; that option is not readily available, so create it.
Build in breaks, it seems obvious doesn’t it after all we take breaks at work and kids get recess in school; the natural rhythm of getting a break is not there at home with the constant demands of work, household chores and kids, so build in your breaks. Keep active during your breaks to help you get reinvigorated and energized to get through the rest of your day!
Celebrate accomplishments, whatever the accomplishments, whether large or small, even if they seem irrelevant. Celebrate daily, weekly and at the end of each project (work, study or family) this will help keep up the morale of all those at home with the limited social contact.
Send me a message letting me know what you think of my tips and what you are going to incorporate going forward. Contact me as well if you would like to book a session to work on balancing your work-family life to become the authentic change maker that you are.
I work with Corporate and Business Leaders struggling with work-family balance to achieve their authentic life balance so that they can integrate all that they are and excel in all aspects of their lives!
I enjoy working with you because once you are true to yourself, you will be the amazing change maker that you know you are and make an impact in your corporation or business, on your team, your family and the community at large.